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05:15 pm
[Link] | "everything looks perfect from far away"
sustain a few images of a beauty in your mind, hold them dear, for the world will destroy them
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01:48 am
[Link] |
Guys are full of crap
This guy I know wanted to date me but I could tell he was only about the physical stuff. It was like he would be getting physical pleasure from me and pretend to care about me. I'm so glad I can see through that line of bullshit. So now he's going out with this other girl that'll put out. Plus I guess he cares about her cause they've been friends for a while. He was all worried about me being hurt about it though. I didn't even know if I liked the guy... he's a republican, conservative and is going to be in the Army when he gets out of college. Not something I'm looking for.
Question: Should I be looking for love? Or should I just settle for someone to date and have fun with? I think that's sort of selling out. I mean, *sigh* I never get anything out of sex anyway. I never orgasm with another person (Travis excluded) so there's no use in me having sex. Plus, it just re-occured to me that if I get knocked up, I am incapable of getting an abortion (morally) and I think adoption would be hard. So no, I won't be having sex with any guy until we are able to handle the possibility of a kid and that won't happen for a while. Guys say "we'll use protection." That's never 100% sure and just because your baby was a fluke doesn't make it okay to kill it. Guys say "Get on birth control." My aunt got pregnant while on birth control so don't feed me that line.
Maybe my standards are too high but there's no way I'm just gonna go sleep with some guy. They don't have to deal with the consequences, plus I don't get anything out of it anyway. I think I should put this all on my profile somewhere so I don't have to explain it to every guy that IMs me.
AAAANYWHO! My caps lock key isn't working. My mom called my dad today and told him I need money for books because I'm a horrible shopaholic. So he put $150 on my Volcard. I really really really hope that's enough. My biology book alone is going to kill me. Jill's last semester was $96 USED! Not to mention the religious studies book I have to buy.
Mike and I had a huge blowout today. Basically he called to bitch me out because I never call him. Why would I want to call him when all we do is argue? He called me names, insulted me, yelled at me and then basically ended up saying he didn't need me and "fuck this shit." What kind of "father" talks like that to his kid? This is why I don't want to get close to him. He's capable of just thoughtlessly trying to hurt me. He of course called to apologize later. He says he cares about me but how can you talk that way to someone you care about?
He doesn't know the first thing about being a father and he admits it. I don't think he's ever going to pull it together as long as no one is pushing him to. Mom accepts all of his obnoxious behavior because she's afraid he won't love her anymore. I personally don't want to be around the person he is right now. He's just plain mean sometimes. He called me a "brat" and he said it with such hatred in his voice. He threatened to kill himself to get me to act the way he wants me to.
All the time he talks about my behavior and how he doesn't like it. What am I doing that he doesn't like? I'm not dating girls anymore, I'm not drinking, smoking or doing drugs. In fact I'm a bit ahead of the game than he was at my age. I'm still "ahead of the game" on him now. I understand things that he's just learning. He acts like he's so smart and that he has all the answers. He'll sit and preach at me for 15 minutes about how the pleasures of the flesh are bad. Meanwhile he's carrying on a romantic relationship with two women at the same time. I'm not saying all Christians are hypocritical but he is definitely one of the ones that are. In God's eyes he is redeemed but I just can't see how he has any right to tell me how to live.
He wants to make everything so dramatic and meaningful and I'm not used to that from a guy. He cries and cries and wants everything to be like something out of an after school special when really life isn't like that. He doesn't have to impress me with his knowledge but really his knowledge is flawed because it's isolated. He doesn't respect educated people and I really do. He thinks that I think I'm better than him because I'm going to college and *sigh* it makes me really embarassed when he laughs about his bad grades in high school. For me that was part of my identity. I got really good grades.
And yes a small part of me says "Well you couldn't cut it in college and you never even tried." But then I have to remember that college isn't for everyone. I just don't understand why Mom thinks he's so smart. He's TALENTED at music and lecturing but he isn't book smart by any means. I guess I get that from Mom and my environment as a kid. Instead of just telling me the answers to things Dad would say 'go look it up.' I didn't watch cartoons. I watched Star Trek and Bill Nye the Science Guy because it made me think. I've never been interested in brain candy. Meaningless fluff just to keep me amused. Why does that make me a snob?
I'm tired of apologizing for having a good childhood. It wasn't my fault and I'm not going to disrespect my parents' efforts to make it good by saying it wasn't as good as it should have been. Mike thinks because he had it rough (alcoholic/abusive father) he's tougher and stronger than I am. No, it just really made him meaner.
It's really hard for me to admit I am wrong about things. It's hard for me to tell people I'm not doing the things I used to (homosexuality/booze/drugs/smoking) because it means I'm saying what I was doing wasn't the best. I mean, don't get me wrong, my life RULED last semester. I partied all the time, got laid when I wanted to and did the occasional pot. But this semester I have better things to do.
He asks me about my day but then interrupts me when I start to talk. He never listens to what I say. He just asks to be courteous.
I get most of my intellectual elitism from Dad. He's always separated himself from modern times and the mainstream. He listens to old music and watches the History Channel. He is safe in what has already happened because it will not change. If I like Green Day and then they sell out, I'm disppointed. Dad is a very safe person. The thing is, he was never as smart as me OR Mom but he valued learning and knowledge above everything else (besides money).
Okay but here's the thing, I called Mom after this conversation to let her know that Mike had pretty much disowned me and all the things he had said to me (like presenting evidence before a judge) and she got mad at ME. She picked me up and ended up taking me to her house and I sat down and told her EXACTLY what I told him: I don't really have the time to give him what he's looking for right now and that I have a lot of pressure on me to do well academically this semester. The thing is, I don't have to embellish or exaggerate the conversations between Mike and I. The truth is awful enough.
He treats me with no respect. He doesn't know the difference between respect and manners. He's even told me that he doesn't care about manners and that he doesn't have to respect me because I'm the child. He pointed out that the Bible says "Honor thy mother and father." I do honor him as much as I can. He also needs to realize that the Bible speaks out against pre-marital sex, and I do believe wrath is one of the seven deadly sins.
I don't ask him questions because he doesn't listen to my situation. He'll just take the general topic and tell me all these Bible verses about the topic and not what I should do. I don't need to hear Bible verses from him. I have a Bible to look those up. I need him to tell me what he thinks I should do and what he would realistically do.
He's freaking paranoid! Every five minutes he says "You can't trust anyone" and "Never let your guard down." But then he complains about people that are hard to get to know. ????
Mike thinks therapists earn their money by telling people what they want to hear and by doing nothing. Such a man. See, he knows feelings can be crippling. He needs to have respect for the counselors in my life because they gave me really good tools to help me cope with my problems. If successful therapists tell you what you want to hear, how do you explain Dr. Phil? I should change my major to psychology.
All right well this has been my rant. I didn't write it for you all to read. I wrote it to get it out of my head and this is easier than writing by hand. Comment though if you like. I probably won't listen though. I never listen to anyone but myself and God.
Me
Current Mood:  marg...
Current Music: Eyelids drooping
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12:38 am
[Link] |
Random quiz results
Johnny Depp flippin ruvs m3!
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
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09:37 pm
[Link] |
I frickin did it
I have joined the legions of metrosexual people that shave all their pubic hair. I have to say, I like it much better (I always have) but now I have time for the upkeep required. I don't know why I'm putting effort into it. Maybe a good luck charm? But then shouldn't I shave my chest or something to bring love? I don't have chest hair...
Today Vicki took a picture of me that doesn't totally suck. I actually look semi decent. I have a definable chin and my skin is really clear. Dizzam. I'm going to post that on some sort of website. :) Yahoo photo albums here I come! My name on there is retromarilyngeek so look up my album if you want to see pics of me. I'm so special!
I basically spent the whole day with Vicki and she totally didn't drive me nuts. We went to Presidential where I had my customary turkey half sub on whole wheat. I'm so proud of me. LoL. Had some chili and Diet Coke, too. I don't know how that fits into healthy eating. Any tips?
Oh man my legs are friggin smooth. What the crap?!?! This never happens. Usually I get little stubblies I missed or dry patches. Things are going well for me. I didn't spend any of today worrying about boys either and I'm not going to start now.
FUN TIMES!
Current Mood:  hopeful
Current Music: Beatles - Hey Jude
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12:26 am
[Link] |
Today
I'm looking forward to the start of the semester because I just realized All Campus Theatre will probably have a huge party to celebrate being back to school. Or just for no reason whatsoever. The last big party we had was at Halloween and it was all right. I stupidly dressed up like a Playboy bunny and got a lot of crap for it. Next year I'll think of something original. These two girls came dressed up as beautiful faeries and my lady crush Amanda was a Ninja Jesus. *sigh* So great. Except for the fact that I couldn't get ahold of any liquor. So not much fun for me sober. I must look like an absolute lush to the officers because I was begging all of them to let me have some booze. So what if I have a drinking problem? It keeps my life interesting. :drunk:
The memorial for my uncle's mom was today and my stupid mom had to ... argh. Okay. I was dressed and ready to go at 1130. Well we're heading down the interstate and she gets off at the mall. I say "What are you doing?" She says "I have to buy a shirt." She works at Lane Bryant and gets 55% off today. Well this is all fine and dandy but we leave the mall 12 minutes before the memorial is supposed to begin and it's a 40 minute drive. We got there with about 10 minutes to go. I was SOOOO mad at her. She couldn't NOT shop. And the thing is, she didn't even really need what she bought.
My mom has a major problem with managing her money and she passed it on to me. She and I both have a soft spot for clothes and will spend all our money on them. This is fine for me because no matter how much I'm in debt, I'll always have my dorm room and my meal plan. Obviously this isn't true for her. She gets the same amount in alimony that I get in child support but she has to pay rent, electric bill, phone bill, credit card bills. *sigh* She loves credit cards. She'll spend spend spend today and just think she can worry about it tomorrow.
I myself maxed out a $500 credit card in a month thanks to her. She was going through a rough time financially so I bought her things to cheer her up. Which was a HUGELY bad idea. She owes me at LEAST $100 on my credit card. And see, the thing is that I can't ask her to pay it back because she doesn't have the money and if I asked for her to pay me back I'd be like my dad. Anytime my mom wants to insult me she says I'm acting like my dad. Which isn't incredibly bad but at the same time it is.
The whole problem is her stupid divorce. She thinks that she has to become the center of the universe in order to take care of herself. It's like a pendelum that's been upset and now she's going through the extremes. Mike has her convinced that she has to be some sort of badass bitch in order to get respect because that's how he's had to do it.
Mike ... arrrrrrrrrgh. Stupid bastard. He's still seeing Amy, his girlfriend, and I heard them basically having phone sex the other day. Does this make my mom a slut? Yeah probably. I would NOT tolerate this sort of shit from a man that CLAIMS to love me and want to marry me. It doesn't matter what he does to her, she'll still love him and fuck him and that'll be all right. I wish most of the times he would just go away. Everything he does...there's an excuse for it. He's still with Amy, is still in Virginia and has no plans to move down here and that's all right. She'll make up excuse after excuse for him.
I've realized I don't like talking about my birth or conception or anything like that at all. I would just rather pretend I didn't exist until I was about four or five. Mike (when he visited) told me about this time when "Wind Beneath My Wings" was on the radio and I said something about it being sad and whatnot. The thing is, I don't remember that at all. How does he expect me to treat him like my dad when he's so totally not? A dad is someone that cares for you and was there for your childhood. Is a sperm donor the father of his "children"? Mom says he's more than that to me but he's not.
He talks to Mom for an hour on the phone just about every day and NEVER asks to talk to me. He can go burn in Hell. He's like all other guys. He can't fuck me so he's not interested in me. He's only interested in me insofar as it affects his relationship with the one he CAN fuck: my Mom. Guys are only interested in satisfying their dicks.
MAN that pisses me off.
Current Mood:  RAWR!
Current Music: Silence
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03:40 pm
[Link] |
AOL blows
I'm watching Queen of the Damned and they're freaking sexy. All the pale, moody guys with French accents. I burn with immortal lust.
Would I become a vampire if I could? Probably not. I'd be miserable. Always bitching about the fact that if I ever died I'd spend eternity rotting in the innermost circles of Hell. If only I could give it a test run like in Tale of the Body Thief.
I probably bitch too much. And I'm hungry.
My clothes don't fit. I feel nauseous all the time and can't eat so I'm losing weight. So now my pants won't stay up.
Aaliyah is a surprisingly wonderful vampire. Too bad she's all dead now. I think I can see her nipples. Hott. She walks like some sort of snake/cat sort of thing. So graceful. I'm mesmerized. Nope, no nipples. Just pure seksiness.
I'm at peace about the whole Mike thing. Mom is starting to see how much of an asshole he is and is hopefully getting over the wonder of his big penis. Stupid slut. I'm never going to have sex again.
*thinks* Do I masturbate too much?
I've been craving cigarettes after masturbating lately. Gawddamn I'm lame.
*goes to slit her wrists*
Current Mood:  RAWR!
Current Music: Stuart Townsend - Anthem of Hottness
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02:59 pm
[Link] |
Mild contemplation
When you're stuck for days in a house where talking to any of the residents is indirectly discouraged, you tend to have a lot of time to think. So I've come to a few conclusions.
My dad is totally anal retentive and needs therapy for it. I wouldn't say OCD or anything but he needs to learn to let things go. He tells everyone what they can and cannot do (except for his almighty earthly father) including when to go to bed and what to eat. Am I or am I not a legal adult?
I can't wait to see Steven. I hope we go eat Mexican food together. :) I was at the duck park sitting under the bridge and every car that passed by and looked like it was remotely a 2002 Honda Civic...I eyed it over.
I don't think I have any goth tendencies anymore. Not outwardly anyway. I don't have the desire to wear all black. I'm moving on to emo. Going to do research and all. It'll be great.
...
On second thought, how about I not classify myself? I just want somewhere to belong.
I realized I've mentioned my biological dad on the phone a few times while Papaw was in the house. I hope he doesn't put two and two together. Or worse yet, Dad's already told him. Actually that would be sort of nice if he had because Papaw hasn't acted any differently towards me.
I'm going to use that $40 gift card at Old Navy to get me some random tshirts to mutilate and put sayings on. I think that if I really wanted to I could create a tshirt company like I've always wanted to. I could get my friends to help me with a website or even do it local. I don't know if Knoxville has a big market for offensive t-shirts though. "Go die you fucking cunt rag" isn't something every Southern Belle wants sprayed across her chest.
Then again...there was a guy that made shirts that said "I fucking love college" and those were the big item among Freshmen this semester.
I've got to stop spending frivolous amounts of money on crap I don't need. No more spending sprees when I get my financial aid. I'm going to buy a super cheap car and a parking pass and then save the rest. If I have any left.
I've realized I can totally party and study at the same time. The mornings after I party I wake up really refreshed and able to think clearly. Booze clears my head. Good tshirt idea...
Another idea I just had. I could put designs on tshirts for other people. I've always been willing to pay for someone to put something special on a tshirt I like. Where do I get the supplies though? I'm going shopping online.
I am not a Muggle...no matter what Mom may say. I'm fucking magickal, bitch.
Current Mood: CHU!
Current Music: Katie babbling
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11:03 pm
[Link] |
Happy New Year!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
I just had one of the weirdly coolest New Years. Know why? I spent most of it on the phone with Steven. They say you spend the new year the way you spend New Year's Eve. Here's hoping it'll be not on the phone but in his arms. I'm so corny.
Bethy and I are reminiscing about the New Year's Eve she spent at my house. We stayed up all night (she says we slept for three hours but I think she did and I stayed up) and made music videos with my video camera. If any of you have the game "You Don't Know Jack: The Ride" and you've played it in a CD player you know all about the Ubernostrum commercial on there. It freaking rules. We made our own version of the commercials on there with the camera. I wonder where that video is?
To Bethy! The longest friendship I've maintained!
To Steven! May he continue to rule so awesomely!
To Megan! May she crack me up the rest of my life!
Current Mood:  YAY FOR NEW THINGS!
Current Music: Day After Tomorrow
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07:25 pm
[Link] |
My ear weighs 300 lbs
I woke up in the middle of the night last night and my ear (left one for all you anal retentive people) felt like it weighed about a ton. It's all stopped up and for a while today I was hearing metallic-sounding echoes in it. My dad and Steven say it's because of my wisdom teeth. I seriously don't want to get them pulled but the one on the right has no place to go. So they might as well all go. That reminds me...I have to go write down addresses of dentists. FUN!
How am I gonna rock it out with Steven if I'm doped up on painkillers? Major deterrent to wanting surgery. Have I mentioned that he has for me a Wonder Woman camisole and boy short set? This is frickin awesome because ever since I saw it on the OC I've wanted to do it. Summer's outfit looked really authentic though, if not a little shiny.
My friend Elliott made the comment yesterday (I think) that I am "boy crazy." Is this true I wonder? I'm not talking to any guys but Steven (in a way that denotes any sort of mutual attraction anyway). I'm talking to Elliott but he isn't interested in me or any girl for a while. He's just had his heart broken ...okay well three months ago I think. But I'm not going to push anything with him when Steven is so much more awesome.
I was soooo sick today. I slept from about 11 to 6 in the evening. I'm such a slacker. Or sick. Okay gotta go.
Current Mood:  awake
Current Music: Katie screaming
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01:23 pm
[Link] |
Forced into a corner
So my dad has a girlfriend right? Well yay for him. I don't care as long as she's nice to me. So you'd think my mom would be happy for him like she claims. Nope it's not in her cold, small heart. Now she says that if he doesn't continue to pay her alimony after she gets remarried (which is contrary to the original agreement that she signed and helped to write) then she won't sign divorce papers. I tried to tell her that it doesn't take two to get a divorce but she is convinced otherwise. Good for her. Wish I could grow up to be a bitch just like her.
Well now Mom is constantly pissed at me because I didn't immediately take her side. I don't HAVE to take sides and she even says this but her actions speak differently. I'm just their kid. Why do I have to fight in their little war? Why can't she just leave him alone? Or me for that matter. I haven't said a word to her and she just jumps all over me. Crap on that!
I hate being forced into anything. And she's forcing me to take sides.
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01:15 pm
[Link] |
Flippin sweet!
Update! I've met a guy. A cool guy, a guy so cool, he is almost a One. (Sorry, more Strongbad humor) We talked for almost three hours on the phone last night and I NEVER talk to anyone on the phone. Ever. The last time I did that I got totally stalked and the conversation lasted three minutes. In almost three hours there were no dead silences. I'm thinking after I get settled down again (AKA get back from Clarksville) then we're definitely hanging out.
He ordered a totally sweet thing for me. The gift part isn't what impresses me (material objects don't impress me) but the fact that it's a Wonder Woman camisole and boyshort set..that's hott. That's really cool and sexy and it's what my ideal guy would want to see me in. That or a catsuit a la Michelle Pfeiffer (SP???) in Batman Returns. She was the best catwoman. All dominatrix style. Tim Burton is a genius.
Speaking of Tim Burton, I wonder when the new Willy Wonka is coming out. Johnny Depp working with Tim Burton is always a good thing (See Edward Scissorhands). I always thought Willy Wonka was much more dark than the original movie made him out to be. Like he'd been abused as a child and had Peter Pan syndrome. He's like Michael Jackson. Or rather, Michael Jackson is like him.
Current Mood:  tipsy
Current Music: Quest for Camelot (yay for babysitting)
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01:08 pm
[Link] |
Frickin sweet!!!!
Marilyn Monroe wants to bang me!
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05:30 pm
[Link] |
Ned Kelly
Don't ever rent a movie called Ned Kelly. I saw Orlando Bloom and Heath Ledger on the cover of it and on the back it mentioned something about an Australian folk hero. Sounds pretty good, right? Wrong. It's very boring. The acting is mediocre and the dialogue is unoriginal. Worst part so far? Heath Ledger slit his horse's throat and drank its blood while hiding out in the woods. Disgusting.
Heath is 100% hotness. No disgustingness involved. He should either be a fake knight or the love of Julia Stiles' life. No vampires involved.
I love you Bethy.
Current Mood:  drained
Current Music: *blood gurgles*
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02:45 pm
[Link] |
Oh that's hilarious
Hahahaha. *can't stop laughing* For one thing I'm watching Napoleon Dynamite which is motherfucking hilarious.
"What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?" "I'll do whatever I feel like, GAH!"
"Tina, you fat piece of lard, come get dinner!"
I'd marry whoever wrote this movie.
All right so I've been fooling around with this guy. *can't contain laughter* He has a girlfriend but I really don't care because I'm a heartless bitch. Now the girl is pregnant. I found this out last night and about an hour later he gets online...and wants to still fool around. This kid is going to have one screwed up family. I've officially lost interest in him. If he wanted to rape me that'd be cool. I'm so fucked up.
Met a shy guy from Knoxville, Tennessee
High school yum yum gimme some Hennessey
I threw him a ball
But he never hit it
Said "give me a call"
But he never did it
I don't care I don't care
If you don't wanna bother with me baby
Cause I-I don't care I don't care
There's better guys everywhere so there
Never gonna say I'm sorry I'm kissed him
Turned it away I turned and I missed him
I was workin overtime now I just wanna walk out
I just tried to make him mine
It's not like he's a knockout
That's my theme song right now. I'm going to spend the day eating yogurt and reading about vampires. And writing random things in my journal.
What kind of guy wants to screw around on his pregnant girlfriend? What a loser.
Current Mood:  stupid cat
Current Music: The Donnas - I Don't Care (So There)
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01:49 am
[Link] |
Freakin Jesus
Do you ever just get really mad and don't know why? Today I just screamed and bitched and punched shit. I'm so tired of being fat. So tired of it. I'm tired of my mom talking to Mike all the time and never having the energy or inclination to talk to me. He's such a fucking douchebag and I wish he'd get disfigured by acid.
I'm currently waiting on the Nicest Guy In The World to get over his broken heart. I'm trying to be patient because I know it hurts trying to get over someone you love so much but damn it's hard. My man situation is looking sort of bleak since I've decided casual sex isn't worth my time. Guys my age only want to fuck and leave and I'm just not into that. I have a little more worth than that and I deserve more. This is considered a very good move by my relatives and friends but meanwhile I'm bored.
I'm starting to think sex will never be any fun for me. At least not until I lose some weight. I swear I'm going to starve and puke myself into oblivion. I'm tired of being made fun of and ignored. I'm tired of having a perfectly beautiful face but because I'm overweight guys pass me over. I'm tired of being everything men want in a woman besides the size six body. You all can eat my shit.
What hope would you have in life if you didn't believe in the power of good or love? I'm starting to think love is something that only happens to the pretty and socially acceptable. The only time I've ever been in love has been when I was a size nine. All of you that are about to say "stop bitching and do something about this" well I am going to do something. I'm going to starve myself and what I *DO* eat I'm going to vomit right back up.
I'm going to start cutting my wrists again. The pain takes away my need to eat because it provides me with physical stimulation. Or maybe instead of stimulating my tongue I could masturbate...or take a shower. Or do my make-up. I've got to think of something to replace my almost constant eating.
I dream of going to New York and living on booze and clove cigarettes and being a book editor. Imagine getting paid to read all day and correct spelling and grammar errors. It's like my dream come true. I can't imagine leaving my family though. Sometimes my mom is the only person I see for days. That's just because all my friends are out of town though.
The cold is inhibiting. In protest I wear the skimpiest clothes I have. No wonder I'm so sick.
My wisdom teeth are coming in and I'm going to need oral surgery. The "Can't Eat" factor should help with my weight. I should make a New Year's resolution to become anorexic. I've never really achknowledged my weight problem before. If someone calls me fat I act all offended even though I say the most horrible things about myself.
I'm going to adopt a uniform. Long-sleeved black button up shirt. Red, pink or white tie. Black Dickies. Black shoes. Everyone will know me as the Corporate Whore. I shall be reknown all over campus for not talking to anyone and having the best grades and getting drunk a lot. I'll be the most reclusive and mysterious lush on campus and I'll have only one friend: my little black notebook. I'm going to dye the paper black and use colored ink on it. Purple ink. Or red. Or my blood.
I'm so fucking depressed.
Current Mood:  go kill yourself you cunt
Current Music: The good in me dying
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11:56 pm
[Link] |
FLAME!
This is the flame comment I put on Daniel's livejournal. You can find it at www.livejournal.com/users/whoisyourhero Therein lies a tale of manwhoring and other boring subjects. Just to clarify (for all my gay male friends) I have NEVER used the word "fag" before and do not mean it to apply to ANY of you. You are all precious human beings without whom I could not keep my sanity. That being said, enjoy my flame. I think this is the first time I've ever told someone to their face that I was mad at them instead of keeping it all bottled up inside and it feels good. Feel free to read his journal and leave equally scathing remarks. NOTE: I had to use small words. What an idiot.
Me
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Yeah I told Quinton about your manwhoring because you ARE a manwhore. You get head from some guy and then make out with a stranger? I've never been that slutty. Even drunk. Know why I've been avoiding you? Because you're the most boring person I've ever met. I couldn't stand to be around you and finally got up the guts to start blocking your IMs and calls. I let you have another chance and tried to be nice but you're so centered on talking about how much action you get you little slut. And your family's right, you WILL burn in hell and not because you're such a slutty fag but because you're two-faced and deceitful. You think I'm an idiot that can't read your online diary and see what you say about me? And the best part about this is I can flame you all I want and there's no way you can get back at me. Just so you know I've moved past all my slutty immature ways and am planning on saving myself for someone that really loves me. Not some fag I pick up off the internet. You say I'M SELFISH? You're the one that interrupts people all the time NEVER listening to what they have to say. (EVERYONE says all this shit about you by the way.) You're self-centered, VAIN and SUPERFICIAL. I couldn't stand to hear you talk like you do. "Oh gosh" "soooo nice looking" "realllly" "oh get this" You think you're so cool but the only people that can stand to be around you are ones as stupid and boring as you are. I hope you flunk out of college so I never have to hear about you again. Your brother's right. You had no friends back in high school for a reason. When I saw you the first day of orientation I was so desperate for someone to hang out with that I latched onto you but after fifteen minutes I was trying to find a way out. Notice that YOU always called ME! I don't need you now and I never did (except for a ride but I could have gotten a cab or gotten someone else to take me. Everyone has cars.) So yeah I'm glad this is over and done with. I hope you know you're the most inconsequentially boring person that has nothing to offer anyone except the chance to feel a lot better about themselves because they're not as asinine as you. YEAH LOOK IT UP IDIOT! So I'm going to post on MY journal a list of reasons why you're so worthless. Goodbye.
Current Mood: so relieved
Current Music: Paul Simon - Slip Slidin Away
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11:43 pm
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Daniel is stupid. Why?
Reasons why Daniel is not even worth the space he takes up:
1. He's boring.
2. He's stupid. I have to use little words when insulting him.
3. He's a manwhore. He accuses me of being a slut and yes I've done a few slightly slutty things but I've decided that's not for the best anymore. So while I'm exciting Slutville, he's opening up his own hotel.
4. Nobody likes him. NOBODY. All the people that I like and respect say he's boring and selfish and two-faced and superficial. Which brings me to points five and six.
5. He's selfish. He never lets anyone talk. All the conversations have to be about him and all the guys he picks up off the internet because he's too boring to get them in person. He interrupts people which is a pet peeve of mine and a sure sign of immaturity.
6. He's superficial. Boys and girls when Daniel looks at you the first thing he judges you on is how you look. Whenever he describes someone to someone else it's not by their personality characteristics but by whether or not he thinks they're "nice-looking." I'm so glad that HE The Hottest Guy on Earth can judge everyone based on their appearance. And yeah I know what you're going to say. I'm overweight. BIG FUCKING DEAL. I work out and eat right and I don't decide who is worthy of my attention by how much they weigh.
7. He's two-faced. Daniel was being all sweet to my face even after he wrote in HIS online journal that I was really selfish and he was glad he wasn't my friend anymore. Yeah like HE "dumped" me. Ladies and gentlemen, *I* stopped answering his IMs and ignored his calls. I was the one that got tired of him. I just wanted to be nice to him and thought I'd ignore him instead of telling him how much he irritated me.
All right that's all for now. I'm going to go watch a DVD with my friend. See. Don't ever piss me off. No it's not even that. Don't ever call me selfish when that's exactly what YOU are. Daniel I hope you end up alone and fat and friendless. You're not even worth this nonexistent rant in cyberspace.
Current Mood:  look at this...daniel sucks
Current Music: Lustra - Scotty Doesn't Know
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08:44 pm
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I'm such a dirty little slut
I'm offically a slut. I met a guy for the first time last night (this morning) and fucked him. Yeah. We technically didn't have sex because he didn't ejaculate inside of me. But he did thrust inside me and it felt better than any other dick I've ever had. And he slapped my ass with his dick. And he came on me. I'm such a slut. He doesn't pull my hair hard enough. Or spank me hard enough. How dirty is that? Jenni likes it in the butt. I'm such a slut.
Me
Current Mood:  Mmm butt sex!
Current Music: Going Under - Evanescence
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03:17 pm
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ELEVEN INCHES!
Holy freakin God! This guy that I haven't talked to in a while IMed me and....I guess he likes me. He sent me yet another pic of his penis and it's FREAKING HUGE! I don't know if I can handle that much. It's like 11 inches. Goodness gracious. Now it's you know who I got the you know what I stick it you know where you know why you don't care. Marilyn Manson is a genius. I might go see him when he comes to Georgia. I'd have to drive a ways but it would be so worth it. Okie dokie I'm going to go now. I don't have class tomorrow so I'm going to piss around tonight.
LOVE YA!
Jen
Current Mood:  YOU CAME TO SEE THE MOBSCENE!
Current Music: mOBSCENE - MM
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01:26 pm
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Super Mario gets me in trouble again
I actually went to Philosophy today since I really need to start going to all of my classes. It's a crying shame though because I'm going to miss English on Wednesday which means I'll have missed a week of it. I suck. So anyway after the lecture (which was quite interesting) I was heading out the door and about to call Daniel when one of the Teacher's Assistants came up to me and told me that my Mario playing in class was distracting everyone. Well I've got to stop that.
Now Daniel and I are watching The Upright Citizen's Brigade so I'm gonna have to go.
Wanna turn the ladies on? Try werewolf sex!
Jen
Current Mood: Werewolf sex!!!
Current Music: Upright Citizens Brigade
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grungegeisha's journal